Macho Aspirant T-Shirts

"This is your second cousin Narciso. When he was small, he wanted to be a bullfighter."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Soldiers' Ego

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Man with many tattoos.

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Before you brag to your buddies about how you ate the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, I should tell you that you really are the larval from of the moth Hypopta Agavis, which is, of course, a far less macho thing to do. Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.

Viking Sissy Drink.

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

'I have to convince him it's not going to ruin his macho image if he bunts.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

'I like a man with a good, firm fist bump.'

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'He's a big softie really'.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'My mom would never let me get one before.'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

"Now that's a splinter."

You're going down. In your dreams. Let's do this thing. Kerboom! Jalapeno eating champ! Let's chug insects. Men.

"Hey, Henry! How's the car?"