Machines Prints

'We're almost fully automated now.'

A Fork-lift.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

Cat wash.

'Hello-goodbye.'

For years he had spent every free moment working on his perpetual motion machine. So far, he was up to 18 seconds.

Push button for loud noise...

Transactional Analysis - The Child.

'If machine fails to operate...'

"I find things go around in cycles."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"I think I see the problem! If I could just read this tiny print, I think it says...'Do not touch this. Could cause toner cartridge to explode'."

'About this 50% error rate of yours, Billington . . .'

Windmill accident.

'The company bought a machine to replace 20 of us, but it's too large to fit in the shop!'

'The Paginator.'

"The paper shedder must be getting too much fiber, it just flatulated"

A planet like ours - Bandit machine in a reactor.

'It could be the size of the machine, the name, or a combination of the two. I'm really not sure what bothers me most.'

At the lunch ladies' lounge.

'The computer will never replace maintenance engineering.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Rest assured, the days when robots take over from humans are still a long way off."

"Hey, listen! Next time you break down on a week-end, okay? I get twice the money plus weekend plus weekend surcharge and we divide fifty-fifty, deal?"

"Arrrgh!! Are you nuts??? I want an Anaesthesia!!"

A cheese grader

Lightbulb Maker

Sidelights on the Wig Industry

Throw you away

Back scratcher

Someday, kids, this time machine will be all yours. Unless you come back to this moment - then it will be all mine again.

Change. Ernie, this machine looks different than it did yesterday. Of course it does.

Time Machine Design Project. Nice attention to detail, Ernie, but I don't think it needs a rear view mirror for traveling into the past.