Macabre Comedy Fan Pillows

"Oh s**t, it’s ICE!"

Beware of dog sign (dead body with bite taken out of it)

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Bad fake tan day.

Giraffe Umbrella

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Vlad the Impala

A Fairytale Update

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Out damn Spot

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"My homework ate my dog."

"That is an outrageous slur."