Lyricist Laughs T-Shirts

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Intellectual Foreplay...

Drunken singers in a public house

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

Vasiliy Lebedev-Kumach

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

Tragedy and Material

'Moon, June...'

"Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I'm actually a lyricist."

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

Noel Coward

"Moon….June Croon….Loon… …Tycoon"

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

Dolores O'Riordan

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

Class Reunion. Back in school, Ernie was the world's biggest Beatle fan! For the reunion, he's written songs about some of our classmates. There's a cheesemaker

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

Stephen Sondheim, 1930-2021

"It's going to be my first protest song, as soon as I can figure out some words that rhyme with 'Napster,' 'Bertelsmann,' and 'service charge.'"