Luxury Humorist T-Shirts

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"What's that unusual scent?" - "It's exclusive, it's petrol."

'I'm not sure what I'm worth. After the first $700 million, it all got kind of conceptual.'

Luxury Box.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Honest Vending

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Champagne at the hunt

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

'I see the Maids have been in!'

Hollywood in tiny glimpses

"Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you in Godzilla!"

Bed or breakfast.

'Hello, Room Service?'

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

No petting in the pool!

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

'Service Lift.'

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

"The fifty-five-gallon drum is completely filled with pennies, sir. Should it be taken to the bank?"

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'Burberry cushioning, very nice.'

'Do you have an agent?'

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

You May Torch The Room