Luxury Dining Gifts

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

'Wow-THESE prices!!To think my mother called you a burger-and-a-beer bloke!!'

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

Foodie Bank

All you can eat $500.00

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"Could you bring me some caviar with those crackers?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Is the MSG local?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'