Lung Legend T-Shirts

'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

Swiss army knife

"Now that's a win."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Shore fishing requires threading the needle.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'You've played enough. Why don't you reel him in now?'

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

There are more things to life than fishing...but I ingore them.

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

The Specimen Hunter

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

'I hate it when they use invisible line.'

'Wow! How did you catch something smaller than the bait you were using?'

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

Scientist looking down a microscope is being looked down a microscope by god.

Man throws his burger wrapper into the trash.

A man sits in an armchair admiring his little pickers and trophies of litter he has picked up which are displayed on the wall.

'Ah ha, just as I expected...BOOM!'

"This is probably the most mature, astute novel of the last half century that I've just finished. Me want ice cream."

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

"The new chief doctor will be the one who manages to remove this sword."

A Guide to Mustaches

'For crying out loud, cut that thing loose! It's just not worth a trophy.'

'Son, your grandfather was the first lawyer on this case and some day it will be your case.'