Luddite Ponderer T-Shirts

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

Pensioners and Phones

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"I've gone for a retro phone."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"I cried because I had no shoes, the I met a horse who had no hooves, and a turtle who had no smoking jacket, and I laughed, because of something funny I remembered."

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"I'm SUPPOSED to be 'preachy'!"

Is it true you can get high licking some frog?

Ask me about my vow of silence.

Who is prisoner of whom

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society

"In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com."

Telephone being thrown from a window in frustration

"We can accomodate food allergies, physical disablilities and learning disorders, but if your son is a technophobe, we have nothing for him."

"'Au contraire' to you, too."

'Is that all you read...designer labels?'