Luddite Ponderer Pillows

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Did you know that hawks can travel 250 miles without flapping? Big deal. So can I.

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

Pensioners and Phones

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

"I've gone for a retro phone."

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"I cried because I had no shoes, the I met a horse who had no hooves, and a turtle who had no smoking jacket, and I laughed, because of something funny I remembered."

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

"I'm SUPPOSED to be 'preachy'!"

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

Is it true you can get high licking some frog?

Ask me about my vow of silence.

Who is prisoner of whom

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society

"In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com."

"We can accomodate food allergies, physical disablilities and learning disorders, but if your son is a technophobe, we have nothing for him."

Telephone being thrown from a window in frustration

'Is that all you read...designer labels?'