Lucky Penny Finder Pillows

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"I just..."

"There's more inside."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Blowing dust off an order book.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'You reek of crackers.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'What if I promise not to look?'

Man posting letter to the IRS.

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

World's cheapest car

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."