Penny Picker Pillows

Turned out to be a not-so-lucky bottle cap.

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"I just..."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Rising Gas Prices

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

Blowing dust off an order book.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

World's cheapest car

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'