Low-carb Dieting Pillows

'Polly wants a cracker!' 'Maybe we should switch to low-carb crackers?!'

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"