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Confusion in A Jar.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I am not asking for directions."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Undercover Biophysicists

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"