Laboratory Life Enthusiast T-Shirts

"No, this isn't low temperature physics. He's just too cheap to turn on the heat."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I am not asking for directions."

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"I feel so seen right now."

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."