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"Doctor, I'm fairly certain we've been feeding the wrong end for a week."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

Jester Surgeon

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Is it urgent?'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

Love Tap

'Brain surgery, right?'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'The good news is, we were able to save your leg'.

'You sounded better yesterday.'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

Operation/Grim Reaper

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'

'It's a simple operation. You'll be good as old in no time.'