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'I thought it was going to be minimally invasive.'

'Good heavens! I've been robbed!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Jester Surgeon

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Is it urgent?'

"Whoops..."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'Say, please.'

Love Tap

'Brain surgery, right?'

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'