Loves Conversations Gifts

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

PSA Banter.

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

Attention Span Man

'Mom can I have another apple?'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Bar Therapy

"What do you mean 'This affair is going nowhere'? This isn't nowhere."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"You're not even listening!"