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Life is for the birds.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"She's a miniature."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Standard & Poor

"It's trickle down."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Jack in the box on strike.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Neversource"

In my day, they didn

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'