Lovers Of Satirical Humor Mugs

"We're closing this department and replacing you with a mobile dating app."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Life is for the birds.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

U of Debt

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Crap from the future.

Cord cutter

"She wishes to range free!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"She's a miniature."

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Standard & Poor

Police film evidence

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn