Lovers Of Language Precision Pillows

Annual Pedants Conference.

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Wok. Don't Wok.

'The Questioner'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Nuts to you, too."

Wordplay: Gastropod.