Language Lovers Pillows

"What I wouldn't give to be a fly on a different wall."

'Oh great, this book's in cow.'

"That's not what I meant when I said let's pull out all the stops."

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

'Pardon, Monsieur. What is time, please?' Man replies: 'Time is the non-spatial continuum in which events occur in irreversible succession from the past to the future.'

"You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare"

Wet paint ahead...mined where you step.

'Why can't she just call it the final exam like other teachers?'

Pedants enter PIN.

Egyptian grammar

Campaign for Plain English

A man drives down a road that has two road signs with quotations marks positioned on either side of it.

"No, you may not call me Mrs. Z."

"It's hard to put my best foot forward when I've got so many."

'It's amazing how many completely normal looking people speak Welsh.'

Irony - also spelled 'ironie', Ironie - also spelled 'irony'.

LOL Smoke Signal.

"It's the worse punctured lung I've ever seen, sir."

'How can I think without words?'

'I understand that he was a teacher of English before he got this position.'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"Speak, Rover come on boy." - "Rover, come on boy."

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'Now that we've invented language, I have to tell her every night where I've BEEN all day!'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

I only said my first word

From an early age Freud was fascinated with slips of the tongue.

The whole family thought Og was stupid, until they found he was dyslexic

Breaking Bad News; doctor to patient - 'OK; now does anyone know the Latin word for crab?'

"OK...let's practice your Spanish! And we'll start with things you know...like this! Your computer joystick! In Spanish, it's...it's...el joystick."

Election Speech Writer

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

student to teacher: 'I keep forgetting how to spell 'amnesia'.'