Linguistic Lover Pillows

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

Street signs say: 'Yield, Acquiesce, Succumb'

'He's not the likes of us, Bert - he says 'whoM' with an M.'

"Yes, I think I have a window in my diary."

'Texn!' ('anagram compiler wanted')

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

French Accountants

Belgium Battle.

'And we've now come to the moment when you both will exchange your vowels.'

'I'm writing an essay on 'the perfectability of man.''

'Stop using the expression, 'if memory serves', Haskins.'

'It's too late to copyright 'Have a nice day.''

"Papi, I don't like being a smart aleck. I think it hurts people's feelings."

When English Majors have relationship problems.

Igor Beaver

Wordplay: Graffiti.

"No, sweetie. Mommy doesn't buy food that's misspelled."

"How do you kill laughter?"

'We've got 90 words for snow - and 943 words for sex.'

'Oh dear - it's getting very acronymious.'

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

It was a match made in heaven.

'Well, Well, no vowels!'

Wordplay: Bisection.

'Her bruxism resulted in a ferine bricole.'

Anagram Cafe

Country & High Brow.

The Sole of Discretion.

"When are people going to stop speaking every sentence like it's a question?"

"Sorry, Gary, I only date guys who know the difference between your, you're and yore."

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."