Lover Of Ironic Humor Mugs

Vertigo Therapy Clinic has a dizzying revolving door.

"I suppose I should've told you this sooner, Ted...It's over between us!"

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

'Ohhh! This is simply wonderful! So romantic and loving! Thank you, my dear! Thank you so much!'

'I don't know, guys. . . something tells me we moved into a bad part of town.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Look! No hands!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

The Hammer

"You are still here."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'Where Are They Now?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Men Working Things Out

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."