Lover Of Humorous Predictions Pillows

'I see a short, fair, ugly man coming into your life.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

'I'm looking for a short synopsis of the future in digital format.'

'What are you implying?'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

"That's because supply exceeds demand."

"Having conducted a thorough analysis of the data it appears clear that profits will go either up, or down, unless of course they stay the same."

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

Hello National Rail Enquiries.. mystic meg speaking.."

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

Nostrildamus.

'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'

"Economists, and these days we're missing more and more of the poor souls."

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

Ice cube selling penguin out of business.

Vulture sitting on company profits graph.

"We've got water views again."

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

"Inflation doesn’t seem so bad to me."

"Your fortune: in a few minutes the rice with rotten shrimps that you ate will start making you feel very sick. We strongly recommend that you drive to the nearest hospital."

'Do you remember when we used to do the bump?'

'A recent surge in sales for Red Hot Polish Smokies indicates the highest level of consumer confidence since lunch yesterday.'

'Fortune 500' Fortune teller's stall on Wall Street.