Fan Of Humorous Predictions Pillows

Madam Zelga

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

'He's got your nose.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

How men process questions.

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"