Lover Of Cringe Comedy Pillows

"I wouldn't say you embarrassed yourself. It was more like social self-immolation."

"Bless You."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Is the garbage fresh?"

If you think Unicorns are lame, you should see a Unicorny.

'You had me at hell.'

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

Coping with Normalcy

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

"You invented a time machine to come back and hit Reply instead of Reply All?"

Aristophanes

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

"If she sings it's over."

"It's nice, but I fell in love with a caterpillar."

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

"Believe me, you don't want to know where it all comes from."

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"

"Your deadliest sin was cheating at church bingo."

"All day, every day—'There's a goddam fly in here!' It's so hurtful."

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

"OK, he's hooked–now reel him in."

'Something's wrong here.'