Lover Of Alternative Theories Gifts

"I'm a rebel! I refuse the tyranny of evolution!"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

A Freudian slip...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Complexity Made Simple.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Marx and Engels - why they split.'

Theory A Day Calendar.

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

American Venn diagram

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

Tess of the Dirigibles

Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"So, it's agreed - we go ahead with the information-matching."

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Jean Philippe Rameau

'I wrote a program that generates random conspiracy theories.'

Mars Rover

Jules Henri Poincare

Ever wonder if Einstein was only trying to come up with a catchy phrase, just for attention?

"Why are we here?"

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Join our 'conspiracy theory' of-the-month club - JFK and Princess Di.