Lovelorn Lexicon Lover Pillows

"Believe me, you're not the first guy who tried to impress a date by saying the book was better than the movie not knowing it was never a book."

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

I will study my speling words...

Thru versus Through Traffic

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'The Questioner'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Wok. Don't Wok.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Kardiff.

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Nuts to you, too."

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'