Love Salesman Pillows

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Larry's used art

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Lethal Presentation

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

The Salesman

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

"I love your optimism."

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'It seats two comfortably.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"So what if people do laugh? The world can use a little more laughter, can't it?"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."