Love Life Satire T-Shirts

"My heart says no, my head says maybe, my you-know-what says yes."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"Bottled or breast?"

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

"These should help me approach your father on his own level."

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Divorced?" "Separated."

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

"I wanted to capture the essence of my wife when I painted her. . . I think I succeeded, doc."

'On the theory that opposites attract, do you have any beautiful, intelligent, rich girls?'

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"

"Separate clouds, please."

'We never go out. We have no social life. We have no income. We have no friends. We're sexually too compatible.'

'Your explanation for all these business dinners with my wife better be good!'

'I don't deserve you? Listen, NOBODY deserves you!'

We can still be friends cafe.

'Your performance in bed?...On technical merit of artistic impression?'

'This could be another chapter for my book on easy pickups.'

"I was just wondering, Mr. Parker, when you planned to come by and pick up Mrs. Parker?"

"Also, your wife called to remind you today is the tenth anniversary of your bailout."

'My wife keeps threatening to divorce me...unfortunately, it's only a threat.'

'My steve is terrified of commitment - he won't even subscribe to magazines.'

"I don't think I'd mind so much if it was another woman."