Love For Humor Pillows

'You can tell me anything, Mrs. Rojak. I'd never violate the sacred fish store-customer relationship.'

Raised by Dogs

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Hon, I'm home!'

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"I'm not normally a big fan of slapstick comedy, but seeing ol' Hotchkiss there..."

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

Safe driver.

'Right, now learn this trick...'

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

"Returns"

Scientist discover a new superbug

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"You're not in the gym Gary!"

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

"I'm suffering from TeaParytyitis."

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."