Love Cynic Prints

Lady to man: 'Sure, I'll go out with you. My mom says I only date losers anyway.'

Happy Valentines Day

"Sorry, Sue . . . I just don't feel it."

"Will you call me?"

'Yeah, I think we have a future together. Would I write you a post-dated check for my half of the dinner if I didn't?'

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

'...and do you take this pre-nup...?'

"He finds it difficult to get in touch with his emotions."

'Tunnel of divorce'

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

'I want you, My Darling!. . . I didn't want you for that long!!!'

'...didn't send myself a Valentines Day card!'

Fo Fum Attorneys: 'And you can forget dating parties of the second part! They're nothing but trouble!'

'He keeps pointing me out to his friends. Apparently, no one believed he'd ever find someone desperate enough.'

Liar Bird, "Yeah of course I love you"

"He gets jealous when other guys talk to me."

'With Bob and me, it was indifference at first sight.'

'Translated, his 'I'll love you forever and always', meant, 'Until next Saturday'.'

John goes through a breakup with his data analyst girlfriend.

"It's over, Josh. Consider this our series finale."

Our love is strong, but it's our mutual dislikes that really keep us together.

Always Compatible

'I can always tell when he's lying - his lips move.'

"It was a misunderstanding. I thought I was buying all rights to her hand in matrimony, she thinks it was just first rights."

"I love you because you're unique."

"Believe me, unrequited was better."

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."

Love Then and Now

"Sorry, Larry, you are Mr. Right, but not Mr. Right with stock options!"

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"Would you do me the honor of giving me your hand in an illicit relationship."

Former Love Birds

It's not working, Harvey. I don't feel the least obsessive-compulsive about you.

"I want to marry you, and you want me to get lost -- So what say we split the difference?"