Loud Talk Show Lover Pillows

Would you kids stop screaming at each other? I can't hear the adults screaming at each other.

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Night Life: L.A.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"Well I think the Real question is..."

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

Jerry Springer

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."