Lottery Dreamer Gifts

'You need a better long-term strategy than winning powerball.'

Lottery loser.

'Retirement plan? Well, every week a dollar of your salary goes toward the purchase of a lottery ticket.'

I'm a member of four class action suits and I play the lottery each week. That's my retirement plan.

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'They say you have a better chance of being struck by lightening than of winning the lottery...I guess they're right!'

'And just how are we going to win if every time I buy a ticket, you eat it?'

'I should be able to pay off most of my student loans.'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

'My investment objective is to keep up with my neighbors, the Joneses, who just won the lottery.'

Guess who didn't contribute to the office lottery pool

'This is a plausible business plan, except for the part about winning the state lottery.'

"If I won forty-seven million dollars in the lottery, I wouldn't change a thing. Not at first."

"Rodney always gives the lottery balls a little extra lucky shake, just before the draw."

'Health Clinic for the insured: Practice limited to lottery winners only.

"I won a million dollars in an online lottery, and as I was tranferring the money to my bank account, the computer froze."

'Wow! What luck... we've won the lottery.'

'When I insisted on a prenup, how was I to know she'd be the one to win the lottery!?'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

'Has winning the lottery had a negative or positive effect on your life?'

'We're collecting for Charlie. He's leaving because he won the lottery.'

'That's your retirement plan, to buy a lottery ticket each week?'

'I am such a loser!' 'You're overreacting. Lots of people have never won the lottery.'

Long term I like energy and trasportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets

"My pension plan has always been to invent something and get rich fast, but now it's winning the lottery."

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

No we don't have a retirement plan, but we give you time off to buy lottery tickets...

'A mega million dollar jackpot ticket that came 'close' is not good collateral.'

'My owner must have won the lottery!'

Woman discovers she is pregnant, and wonders if peeing on her lottery ticket will give her the same good luck.

"As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy."

Bank and Trust.

'Stop thinking your future will go up in smoke because of a few wrong numbers on a lottery ticket!'

Jester with scratch cards. "I need to win some money to fund my arts project."