Lost Shopper Pillows

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Smart card.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

How would Madam like to pay?

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

Don't miss this opportunity to own something really expensive!

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

Mom & Pop Grocerette

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Shopping Torture

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

Shopping Trips

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

Man is attacked by barcodes.

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise with lots of shops.'

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

Undercover Santa

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

"Foreign wines have ruined me for domestics. I still shop local, but I gripe global."

Eulogy: I shopped Til I Dropped

Winter Sale