Lost Property Officer Pillows

Bureau of Missing What Have You.

Lost Property - Missing Head

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Very Difficult Conversations

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'I wish these wings were for more than show.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"In heaven you can pee on the carpet."

"This next one is for Lucy, my huge dead goldfish."

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Dog Statue

"Oh, it's called a fireplace. I'm not sure what fire is, but look how cozy."

"It's just till I get over our dog running away."

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

Good boy! Now roll over and play alive.

"Sure. Unless, of course, he's in doggie Hell."

"It was three hours before we realised that he wasn't playing dead."

"So THIS is where all the lost remote controls end up..!"

"RIP Cup Cake, our beloved kitty"

Dave could never work out how he lost his nose stud.

"We got a great buy on the apartment, but, unfortunately, it didn't include the mineral rights."

Desert Island Eviction Notice

House detective.

Dog Heaven

Lost & found dept.

Doggie Heaven

Illustration on the dangers of homebuyers failing to get correct property searches done. Couple look on in dismay as bus and ramblers have right of way over their land.

"I love real estate. It's so tangible."

"Well, you did say that you were looking for a detached property."