Lost-but-not-lost Fan Prints

Desert Crawler

He looks so natural lying there...

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"Where can I find the lefts?"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

Directions.

"And can one illuminate the manuscript?"

Justice for a heckler.

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager