Looking For A New House Gifts

'They've done wonders with Energy Efficiency!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Doing the borders.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"First time pruning?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

I did it my way.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Taking it easy

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.