Longtime Love Commentator T-Shirts

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

The United States of Amazement

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"