Longevity Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"125 is the new 100."

'On average, a woman lives seven years longer than a man. So, when I'm 80, I'm having a sex change.'

'Our reputation for longevity is based on several factors: hard work, simple food, lack of stress and the inability to count correctly.'

"Splitting up after 63 years, I knew it wouldn't last."

"Happy anniversary, dear. I never expected us to last this long!"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

The secret to success...is making it to another year."

"Didn't you go to the doctor this morning?"

". . . What's the secret of your long life?"

37 years in the same position.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."