Lockdown Love Strategist Gifts

"At least I don't have to tell him I've got a headache anymore."

'I sent out for everything.'

The new normal

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

"Our battle with Covid-19 has been a triumph."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'I find the best way to get them to grow up is to buy them a 1-way ticket to Europe, and let them work their way back.'

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

"I married for contrast."

How to feel confident in love & war

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

"Mr. Nwachuku?", "Extra dressing on the side?"

Cupid Takes it Up a Notch