Loch Ness Aficionado Pillows

Climate Change Has Pushed Me Out Of The Media

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

Scientist seen on loch.

Neil Young

Edna spots the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster.

'...Stop trying to funk it up.'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

The Angel's Share

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'Another Scotch?'

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

Water skier being attacked by giant fish.

Another unconfirmed Loch Ness Monster sighting...

'Are you sure this photo is of us? It looks like a couple of floating logs to me.'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

Foodie Bank

Determined fisherman

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

"I think Maurice has gone feral."

A nice Chianti?

"Come on! You’ve done the whole ‘be one with the universe’ thing … be one with the Scotch."

'Pay no attention to any silly stories, I've been here two hundred years and never yet seen a monster.'

The lake is peaceful today. Hardly! Danger lurks! You never know when nature will strike. That's negative, Nana. Hi! Is Twig here? See what I mean? I'll go get her!

'Hey, bartender! This scotch is watered down!'

'I'll have a stiff Scotch.'

Loch Ness Monster: Silly Ness, Busi Ness, Sexy Ness.

A punk rocks out to a John Denver song on karaoke night.

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

Lady of the lakes.

"This 12-year-old malt...it's very small for it's age!"