Local Reporters Gifts

"People worry that there aren't any journalists to cover local issues anymore. But I reckon that's just another example of fake news."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Press Freedom

Gay Times...

Difference of Opinion

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

A little bird told me...

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'He was a great writer'

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Turkey, present day...

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Newspaper suicide.

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'