Local Eating Gifts

'Eat locally - all roadkill from 8-mile radius'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

See you at the farmers market!

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

"Is the MSG local?"

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

'It's all local, except for the fish. They're from the ocean.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Man on Stilts in a Market

(Direct to the Consumer)

'Fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices, nuts, berries, roots, tubers, stems, leaves.'

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

'This should increase our business.'

'It's farm-to-table-to-farm dining.'

'All our food is locally sourced.'

'What do you expect? It's not summer anymore.'

Food Fight

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'