Loan Visionary T-Shirts

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

"Do me next."

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Sold his air rights."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

“He runs the top Virtual Reality company in the world. In fact, that’s not really him.”

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

Louise Glück

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

Safe under mattress.

'Well, you're not blind, but have you ever considered laser eye surgery?'

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'These days my approach is to start with the Booker Prize acceptance speech and work backwards...'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

Seamus Heaney.

Budget Opticians.

Attempting to understand the market: Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Freud.

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Stanescu.