Living Room Minimalist Gifts

It's A Footstool! It's A Hassock!!It's... OTTOMAN!!!

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

Typewriters and Laptops.

"Not to mention the park view."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

Paperless office.

Marcello Mastroianni.

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

High Tech/Low Tech.

"I'm looking for something that won't say anything about me."

'I warned you...I can only cook two dishes: beef stroganoff and cheese cake.'

The architect speaks: '...I went back to my roots...this house is based on a drawing I did when I was six.'

"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"

"I'm going off the grid with the option of grid-binging whenever I want."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"I think my filing cabinet is a little more practical."

'I never understood kitchen tables. Why do you think I gave you a lap?'

"Say something. I forget what you sound like."

'No, it's not a new iPhone, it's a Swiss army knife.'

STRIP Hambone: Neddle-less christmas tree screen saver

My annual treecation. Just a guy and his tree. And his iPad, iPod, iTouch, Macbook, previous generation of all of the above for backup purposes. And a small power generator. Just us and the quiet solitude of nature. Beep, beep, beep, beep, B -

It's a coffee-table Kindle.

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."