Living Room Minimalist Gifts

It's A Footstool! It's A Hassock!!It's... OTTOMAN!!!

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Typewriters and Laptops.

"Not to mention the park view."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

Paperless office.

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

High Tech/Low Tech.

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

'I warned you...I can only cook two dishes: beef stroganoff and cheese cake.'

"I'm looking for something that won't say anything about me."

The architect speaks: '...I went back to my roots...this house is based on a drawing I did when I was six.'

"I'm going off the grid with the option of grid-binging whenever I want."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"I think my filing cabinet is a little more practical."

"Say something. I forget what you sound like."

'I never understood kitchen tables. Why do you think I gave you a lap?'

STRIP Hambone: Neddle-less christmas tree screen saver

"I guess it's okay for you to go home at the end of the day if you think that's fair to the stockholders."

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'