Live Music Devotee Gifts

The Ignored Busker

"This next one is for Lucy, my huge dead goldfish."

Loreen-Euphoria-ESC in Baku

Glastonbury. After.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

At the rock concert...

Theatre Crowd

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"Free Bird!"

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Plum jam...

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Occupational Hazards.

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

'Nobody pays for music anymore.'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

Towny Music Night.

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'