Live Games Pillows

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

Glastonbury. After.

Zombie standup

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

At the rock concert...

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Applause

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Free Bird!"

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Occupational Hazards.

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Plum jam...