Little Novelist T-Shirts

"How much longer are you going to be on your autobiography?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

The DaVinci Code

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

The Victors

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Jr. cloning kit

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

John Bunyan

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"So the white whale was really just a metaphor for your mother's lack of affection?"

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Playdough's The Republic

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family