Little League Parent Prints

"Your little league coach traded you?"

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

Sportsmanship

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

"I am standing up straight."

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

'These are my rookie cards.'

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

Knocked it out of the park

Thank you for not flying into a rage and pummeling the ref!!

'Of course I bailed you out - you've got soccer tonight.'

"You have to at least try, Timmy. Your father built you a participation trophy case."